Working with Resistant Families: Engagement Strategies

Understanding Resistance

Resistance from families is common in social work, particularly when involvement is involuntary. Rather than viewing resistance as a character flaw, it's helpful to understand it as a natural response to perceived threat, loss of control, or past negative experiences.

Resistance can take many forms—from overt hostility and refusal to engage, to more subtle patterns like missed appointments, superficial compliance, or withholding information.

Why Families Resist

Fear and Anxiety

• Fear of children being removed
• Fear of judgement and shame
• Anxiety about what will happen
• Fear of losing control

Previous Experiences

• Negative past experiences with services
• Trauma and its impact on trust
• Experiences of discrimination or disrespect
• Being let down by professionals before

Lack of Understanding

• Not understanding why services are involved
• Confusion about processes and expectations
• Disagreement about the concerns

Engagement Strategies

Building the Relationship

• Be reliable—do what you say you will
• Be respectful and non-judgemental
• Show genuine interest in them as people
• Acknowledge their feelings and perspective
• Be transparent about your role and concerns

Communication

• Listen more than you talk
• Use clear, jargon-free language
• Ask about their views and experiences
• Reflect back what you've heard
• Acknowledge their expertise about their own family

Finding Common Ground

• Identify shared goals (even if framed differently)
• Focus on what they want for their children
• Work with their priorities where possible
• Recognise and acknowledge strengths

Addressing Specific Challenges

Missed Appointments

• Explore barriers (practical and emotional)
• Offer flexibility where possible
• Be clear about expectations and consequences
• Consider home visits if appropriate

Hostility and Aggression

• Stay calm and don't take it personally
• Acknowledge their feelings
• Set clear boundaries about behaviour
• Prioritise safety
• Debrief afterward

Superficial Compliance

• Look for evidence of genuine change
• Maintain professional curiosity
• Don't be lulled by surface-level cooperation
• Focus on outcomes for children

Maintaining Professional Curiosity

Resistance can make it tempting to disengage or accept surface-level information. Professional curiosity means:

• Continuing to ask questions
• Looking behind what you're shown
• Noticing inconsistencies
• Seeking information from multiple sources
• Not accepting explanations that don't add up

Balancing Engagement and Protection

Working with resistant families requires balancing:

• Building relationships while maintaining focus on the child
• Giving families chances while not accepting ongoing risk
• Being empathic while holding parents accountable
• Understanding reasons for resistance while still requiring engagement

When Engagement Isn't Working

Sometimes, despite best efforts, families don't engage:

• Document all attempts and responses
• Consider whether different approaches might work
• Discuss in supervision
• Be clear with the family about what happens next
• Remember that child safety takes priority

Self-Care

Working with resistant families is emotionally demanding:

• Use supervision for support
• Don't take hostility personally
• Debrief after difficult encounters
• Recognise what you can and can't control

Conclusion

Resistance is a common and understandable response to social work involvement. By understanding the reasons behind resistance, building genuine relationships, and maintaining professional curiosity, you can often engage families who initially seem unreachable. But remember: engagement is a goal, not a guarantee. Child safety must remain the priority.